It ends there, in this picture and starts here, in the Now. I no longer feel fear when looking at my MRI. Now I feel strength.
I used to think I had a learning disability because I would practice over and over and still forget my song lyrics and chords. I told myself I could not perform because I wasn’t cut out for it, I couldn’t even remember my own songs. Over the past few years my passion slowly slipped away. This alien thing was the reason. Pushing on my frontal lobe, taking away so many of my skills and dreams. I was hijacked and had no control of my own brain. Even scarier, I didn’t know it was happening.
I started playing piano again one week after brain surgery. A whole song poured out of me in 20 minutes like it was waiting there the whole time. It’s a song about what I went through and it’s the most honest song I have ever written. To this day, music and songs flow out without effort, even in my dreams. I can remember my songs and sing/play like never before. It is one of the blessings in this. To be an artist and go through an extremely traumatic event is a blessing. Not only did it give me strength of a warrior but it allows me to help others through my music and my experience. It gave me more fuel to my fire than I know what to do with. I am going to take this all the way. I feel like after going through the past two years and surviving it, my possibilities are endless and there are no limitations to what I can do. For a long time I would ask, “Why me?” and now it’s changed to “Why not me?”